“This job is about love.”
- Stuart Morris, Founder of The International College of Professional Celebrants
Celebrancy is one of my practices that neatly weaves a lot of my other ones together. With over thirty years of experience playing with words and the English language, twenty years of performance experience and an ear for extracting the essence of a couples’ story, not only my clients but their guests have been spell bound by my delivery. In my days as a fundraiser for Amnesty International I wrote my pitches into poems and this gave me not only the ability to write to brief, but also to contour and stick to a time limit, something crucial in delivering a blessing. It must be compelling and emotionally dynamic, yet rooted in service to the couple.
It is a delicate balance illustrating both the love and the challenges that a couple face in each other as well as the world. Yet the steps into commitment and the pledging of oneself to another are acts of incredible bravery and dedication. Any blessing I scribe is completely unique to a couple, written into prose and serves not only to announce their story, but ingrain it.
If I were to subscribe to a belief system it would be Unitarian. I look systemically for parallels and similarities in all philosophical and moral teachings and feel duty bound to respect anyone else’s. As a wedding celebrant, my responsibility is to my client, their story and their wishes for their union, as is said in the circles of The International College of Professional Celebrants, we are ‘ministers of no religion.’ I myself prefer being a ‘minister of no particular religion’, for all my life experiences and knowledge, I might be wrong.
So if you’re looking for someone who can command a presence in your ceremony, someone to enthral and deeply move your friends and family, someone who can take pride, pleasure and humility in their service to you, Rich Out To Me and let’s begin exploring your tale…
“Rich was master of ceremonies at our wedding this summer. He was very easy to talk to about what our expectation of the feel, mood and intention of what the blessing would include. He guided us through the blessing, making us the centre of it but without any awkwardness. He created a truly magical feel to the event which we both found very touching and poignant.
Afterwards, he did walk about poetry, which our guests were very willing to engage with. It created a buzz and a mutual experience of our guests to talk about, which in turn made it easier for them to get to know each other. It has since been remarked upon by guests as to the unique and beautiful experience which stands out in their memories.
Rich created a genuine and heartfelt highlight in our special day, for which we are very grateful. I would recommend him to any prospective couple looking for something extra special to mark their marriage.”
- Tabatha
“I didn't know what to expect when my girlfriend told me we were having a poet at our wedding…
But you’re told these things and you go along with it. For better or worse I suppose!
What Richard did was transport us with words to beautiful places, enthralled the guest and mesmerised our hearts and minds.
I cannot recommend Richard enough, he created something truly unique I will never forget.”
- Niki
Further to finding union in another, I present myself in such a way as to display union of the masculine and the feminine in the Self. I, as a man, have female DNA and femininity within my psyche and allegorise this re-pairing of what I once saw as divided in regalia. Finding the union of what is considered divided in yourself leads to finding the union in another. This is what I attempt to embody when presiding a ceremony, living in Self what you as a couple are entering into with your other.
Without the One, there is no Two.
Beyond this interpretation of my own sexuality, it extends further than the binary and into the nuances and flavours of all emotion. I like to say;
Emotions are like Pokemon, you’ve gotta catch ‘em all.
After all, there’s no adventure without adversity.
“Dressed as if he was honouring a queen, Rich captivated our guests and enchanted us as he took us on a dance of love for each other and ourselves.”
- Nick and Kim
Photography by Stefan Pfaff, ceremony held at Embercombe, Exeter
Stories, Blessing Excerpts and Testimonials
It is one thing to was lyrical about one’s own ability but another entirely to give space for someone else’s perspective. Niki and Tabatha, as well as Nick and Kim are friends of mine that asked me to attend and bless their union.
Niki and Tabatha held a low-key event on a friend’s farm land in Cornwall and asked me to bless their marriage as well as offer my own poetic warblings post-ceremony. I’m all too familiar with my capacity to make what I call ‘bendy space’ when I orate and the electricity in the air as I spun my words certainly had the desired impact, transporting them deep within one another and emotionally charge their guests.
Nick and Kim decided to hold their wedding at Embercombe, a social enterprise with an emphasis on nature based learning, where we had originally met and worked together. They held their own private ceremonies on the land before bringing embers from those fires to light the one I had built for them in the stone circle there. Believe me the photo does not do that fire justice!
Chloe and Jacob
I met Chloe and Jacob whilst busking poetry in Bath one day and they are the reason I do this job. Chloe asked me to do poetry for their guests at their forthcoming wedding (which I obviously did), yet the conversation developed into me officiating their marriage at Cripps Barn in Cirencester.
Our first consultation went beautifully, we all share a love for heavy music and the nerdier things in life! Their story was both heart-warming and heart-wrenching and it was a pleasure getting to know that the trials of their lives were met in each other by nothing but support and openness.
It so happened that COVID happened right in the middle of when their wedding was supposed to take place. This meant Chloe and Jacob losing their deposit on their first choice of venue and the caterers but decided to retain my service and book a different venue. Three whole years it took for the wedding to actually happen and to this day one of the most humbling and rewarding experiences I’ve had.
“Our blessing was beyond fantastic, we couldn't have imagined anything more perfect to celebrate our union and we are so grateful to Rich for making our day well worth the three year wait."
- Chloe and Jacob
Credits
Photography - Megaera Amis www.meggophoto.com
Venue - Cripps Barn, Cirencester www.crippsandco.com/cripps-barn
"Rich surprised us again and again with the level of detail and attention he put into our wedding celebration. Not only did he take the time to talk to us both about our relationship from start to finish, but he got to know us both as individuals and incorporated both our personalities into the blessing and poetry. He supported us through the whole planning process as well as the stress of rescheduling due to COVID.”
Blessing Excerpts:
Early in their getting-to-know-you-phase, Chloe had been stuck in an unfulfilling relationship. On one particular night out with Jacob, she could no longer contain herself:
“Her tearful confession took hours to spill all this time she had spent feeling crappy.
He told her the only reason he'd let go was because he thought she was happy.
His feelings had never abated for her and the rest of the night was spent singing,
the songs of the Firefly, dancing and drinking, ‘til homebound they walked early morning.”
A few years after this, after some to-ing and fro-ing, they got themselves their own flat. At a festival one year, Jacob decided it was finally time:
“Chloe could feel it as they sat down outside the incoming proposal from him,
so excited was she that before finishing could he nearly blurted out, ‘YES!’ on this limb.
So perfectly planned was his speech Jacob spoke, he'd even included a space,
for the ring he brought forth, a rough diamond was wrought with spirals for Chloe to say;
Is that an actual ring? Like, a real one, an actual diamond ring? That's a diamond ring! That’s a… [ETC…]”
Now it so happens that we are all fans of the science fiction TV show ‘Firefly,’ Chloe and Jacob even going so far as to have an instrumental version of the theme tune as their entrance music. So for part of their blessing I abridged some of the lyrics:
“Found my love, found my land, found the place where I can stand,
Not by your side I couldn't be,
In you I found serenity.”
Sophie and Ashley
Sophie and Ashley were both recommended my services by a wedding photographer who’d just been a guest at a previous wedding I’d officiated. They’d been in search for a celebrant for a while, yet none quite matched their flavour until Chris suggested me.
It is not uncommon for a couple to struggle to take stock of their lives, after all, what would you say to someone who asked you, ‘So, what’s your story?’ Nonetheless, Sophie and Ashley both obliged me over time and distilling the essence of their lives apart then their subsequent coming together into a blessing fit for their love for each other was a blessing in itself!
After offering various forms and suggestions for their ceremony, they settled on hand-fasting and smudging, in amongst the blessings and vows. Held at the stunning Secret Valley in Somerset, the day of their union afforded their guests and myself to camp there, allowing the ensuing celebrations to continue into the small hours! To have shared a dance-floor with their family and friends was a privilege I will never forget.
“My husband and I were left hopelessly lost when it came to searching for our perfect wedding celebrant as most of our locals were nothing much to our fancy.
That was until we were suggested Rich by our photographer.
Not knowing what to expect, we met up with Rich to discuss options for the ceremony and it turns out we had a lot more in common than we thought!”
“We wanted something whimsical, mysterious and something our guests had never seen before and Rich was able to provide above and beyond that! We were given the option to hear what he’d prepared or be surprised and I am so happy we’d left something to surprise us on the day. Rich was able to perform a hand fasting ceremony and smudged our guests on entry. All of that was topped off by the truly beautiful way Rich was able to spin our relationship story into the most mesmerizing poem, even including lyrics to songs picked for the ceremony.
He made us all laugh, cry and cheer. Truly the most special touch to a special day. We couldn't be more grateful that he was who we ended up picking.
Fate has a way.”
- Sophie and Ashley
credits
Photography - Chris Clark www.capturedbychris.co.uk
Venue - Secret Valley, Somerset www.secret-valley.co.uk
Blessing Excerpts:
They first met at a club night near their hometown and hit it off immediately, although one of Sophie’s friends had a little accident:
“Alas Sophie's friend ended up getting injured and to hospital they had to go.
So Ashley he paid for the fare of their taxi, waving them off although...
Not before he got Sophie's number and texted her the very same night.
That he hoped Sophie's friend was soon on the mend and meeting her had been a delight…
…They didn't stop talking from then on.”
One new year’s eve, Sophie was so ill she had to go to hospital, but not before Ashley had, in a somewhat inebriated fashion, asked her to be with him:
“He came back to her, and most drunkenly slurred, "Sophie, will you be my girlfriend?"
Though so ill was Sophie, rushed to A&E, in the hopes that this pain would just end.
Ashley stayed by her side in the waiting room still demonstrating his devotion to her.
Not leaving her once as alcohol it wore off proving love for her drunk or indeed sober.”
Each of us has what I like to call ‘gumph’ to bear, but throughout Sophie and Ashley’s story are countless instances of them supporting one another. Their vulnerability with each other stands testament to their union and they are shining exemplars of commitment:
“The comfort of finding another with whom you can talk about literally anything.
The space is allowed just to breathe through anxiety fearing not in the change it can bring.
This love that you have for each other's so rare, whether in sickness or in health.
In gloom or in humour, lay by my side, where you can bring love to yourself.”
BLESSING DETAILS, PACKAGES AND BOLT ONS
As I’ve said above, when scribing a blessing I don’t use stock. I have an in depth questionnaire and an attention to detail that necessitates producing a ceremony as unique as you are. My process is a lengthy one and transposing your story into prose takes a lot of time. I will be in constant dialogue with you to clarify your stories, check sensitivities around particular events and guarantee a moving and joyous ceremony.
Cheap does not just mean inexpensive, but Rich is a word for full bodied and opulent.
Basic Package
Your story expressed in prose.
Guidance and scripting of your ceremony.
Correspondence with your wedding personal regarding stage directions and logistics.
Two rituals (for example, the exchange of rings and a hand-fasting).
A held and directed rehearsal.
The delivery of your ceremony in your chosen venue.
A presentation script of the blessing.
Rich Out To Me for a quote.
Bolt ons:
Additional rituals – from £100
The exchanging of rings is the most commonly known form of wedding ritual but there are so many more to choose from! Perhaps you each have children from previous partners, so a coloured sand ritual might suit you well. Maybe you’re both fossil fanatics, so a time capsule ritual might be fitting. Couples who share a love of cooking might choose a spice ritual. These additional rituals need not be in the ceremony itself but punctuated throughout the day.
Whatever flavour your love may entail, there are ways to celebrate your identity and represent your devotion in a way entirely unique to you.
Unique wedding certificate – from £100
Whilst only being a cosmetic certificate (until the laws change to allow qualified celebrants to also administer the legal registration), a custom, framed memento of your day serves as an elegant reminder of your commitment to one another. In addition, the theatrics of signing it with your witnesses in your venue of choice certainly make for better memories than the registry office! I’ve a number of talented, professional artist friends who are all capable of expressing the uniqueness of your love and bestow upon you a truly special memento.
Professional voice recording of the blessing – from £200
Many couples are employing the services of a videographer now to capture the finest moments of your day. As a voice artist, I can provide them a quality recording of the entire blessing for them to use alongside the video, ensuring that not a single phrase is lost in the wind of the forest, or muddied by the natural stone reverb of a barn. The audio obviously is made available to yourselves of course!
Vocal workshops for hen/stag parties – from £50 per person
There are two styles of vocal workshops I can offer to couples before they are married. The one I offer for women is a workshop rooted in finding the joy of anger, learning how to begin using the voice to express and vent anger in a healthy way.
The vocal workshop I offer for men is a bit more risqué so Rich Out To Me for more information…
Master of Ceremonies/ Walkabout entertainment – from £1000
My duties typically don’t end at the close of your ceremony, they only just begin. I can time keep and announce important items on your itinerary for the day such as photo shoots and introducing speeches. In addition, my walkabout spoken word performance never fails to keep your guests engaged. You choose from my extensive repertoire of original works go on my menu for the day and I deliver single servings of poetry to your family and friends. Later in the evening when the party really starts going, I’ll keep the dance-floor packed and pick up the stragglers on the outskirts.
To Close…
We as humans are but kaleidoscopes of the singular condition that is the concept of humanity. Our gender, our nation, our cultures swirling across ancestry into the merging and rebirthing of them. The milestones are well worth marking, if not for any other reason to continue to teach the value of celebrating, especially love, to future generations. The subsequent mingling of kaleidoscopes’ light produces colours that neither could produce by themselves alone. Where we as individuals merge, new light will emerge. How then we deal with the Shadows of ourselves is the real test, through thick and thin, wax and wane, joy and pain, marriage is to surrender and say, ‘I do,’ to this ‘other.’
To end on a quote (a rather lengthy one I’m afraid sorry not sorry!) I’m going to reference a line from one of my favourite films, Ghost in the Shell #spoilers.
The scene is towards the end, where Project 2501 is discussing merging with Major Kusanagi. Project 2501, as a spontaneous consciousness birthed in the internet, is arguing the case for itself being a sentient life form. They want to reproduce and merge to create new life that is bits of both but not quite either. Kusanagi is arguing that if its’ desire is just perpetuity, it can just copy itself. Project 2501 replies:
A copy is just an identical image. There is the possibility that a single virus could destroy an entire set of systems and copies do not give rise to variety and originality. Life perpetuates itself through diversity and this includes the ability to sacrifice itself when necessary. Cells repeat the process of degeneration and regeneration until one day they die, obliterating an entire set of memory and information. Only genes remain. Why continually repeat this cycle? Simply to survive by avoiding the weaknesses of an unchanging system.
The root of the word ‘sacrifice’ means ‘to make sacred’ and whatever a person’s perspective on any form of existentialism, finding and committing to another human being is an act of true growth. The evolution, the stories of ourselves, the growing pains, it’s all to be celebrated, and necessary for our survival.